Christmas-Noel-Jul is here!

Tomtar. Katter. Hundar. Gran. Familj. Snö. Mys. Kärlek. Ljus. Musik.
And all I want for christmas is youuu!


Boiling eggs, missing Penny and that's it.

There exist all sorts of feelings. I believe not just in me, in all of us. I also believe that I feel things stronger than the rest of my family Helgen. By no means, I don t know, I just think. My dad is in Stockholm (the capital of Sweden), I am in London, mom in Grebbestad and sis in Nöthult. I need to say it is indeed weird, we all are so different, still so similar. I mean, I always thought I was slightly to mildly abnormal. I somehow always felt abnormal, but it starts to bring to light to me – we are all pretty abnormal. How sane is it to live in a village with one neighbor? Or how sane is it to live in a city with 10000 – but you do not know a single one of them, that is properly. I don t know, I am just in a “putting-incomprehensible-words-on-paper-mood”. My eggs are just boiled - and we talked about an eventual Christmas dinner together. All of us here are going home during the break so it would be nice to gather and do something together. I cannot imagine how wonderful it will be to to met her, my 4-legged pet. Penny has been away from her mother more than 3 months, and it is not cool. But on the other hand God does not give me/us anything that we cannot handle. So it is better to let go, accept and say: well well, if that is your will so be it. But it hurts so badly to not waking up with her, not go to sleep with her (even the company at the loo).


There are three things I wish for Christmas: (1) Being with Penny and my family (2) Abstinence (3) boxing equipment.


Talk to you later.

Deadlines and deadlines..

all those deadlines. BUT I am not fully complaining over my situation here - I would say to some degree I am OK with it, it is just that MY TIME never seems to be enough. No matter how I plan and distribute my time - I am always running out of it.  Never fails. So therefore this is my New Year resolution (I make it now because I hate those in a traditional meaning) to manage my time better. Imagine when I am get older, having (hopefully) kids and all that I need to master my time! This lack of organization is just causing me unnecessary stress and frustration. And at the end of the day I finish up not performing to the best of my potential. As I just tend to wrap it up in the end. I believe and aim for improvement in this area.


Another thing, I guess it is little odd to be in London today knowing there is a big family gathering (mom's birthday) right now and I am not there with them. Not even my Penny is here. But who forced me to stay here and keep my focus on my last weeks of semester, no one but me, myself and I! It was not even a question of forcing - it was my choice. So I’d better be happy with it. But I miss them all insanely much, that should be mentioned.


Anyway, I think it is time for “a starbucks” now - nothing really compares with their repertoire of coffee drinks!


Be good!


Just so grateful.

Too bad I am never seem to get serenity and time enough to write here. BUT, I am feeling so all over the place when I am not putting my thoughts down in my blog. I know it is helping me so immensely so I am going to direct some effort into writing the coming days. There is so much going on in my life and it is all good. I am enjoying myself. I cannot believe how blessed I am at the end of the day - constantly meeting new people, extraordinary and mind blowing people. They just are popping up after one another and I am so fortunate to happen to cross their paths. I am little worn out tonight, it has been a wonderful week (mom was here!!) and I had lots of fun during my singing lesson and training lesson today. I am not going to let any disfavoring thoughts distract me (or seduce me) from doing what I love doing and being who I believe I am meant to be. That’s it for now.


Thank you all lovely people out there for being in my life.


Much love.


Me now in the middle of the night. Cannot wait to close my eyes.

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