Monday today. Sunny Paris. No stress, just soft weather with soft thoughts. Drinking black coffee and listening to beautiful music, nice tunes. It makes me want to dance and sing and write and smile and scream - all in once. My plan today is to polish on my CV - but hey, how do I fit all into 2 pages..that is a miracle in itself..selection I guess.

I am proud today, over the human being. You understand how strong this creature is? Just go as far as to your closest friend or family member, or favorite artist. We are all, those, humans. Pretty cool, pretty stunning when you give it another reflective thought. I remember when I was a little dude, “back in the old days”, still, I was a modest analytical psychologist - question is - are certain people born into a certain professions or it is the circumstances that forms us and put us in a particular direction. Interesting, isn`t it?

Another thing, it is not like my life is boring and without action. Rather it has too much of those elements. I mean, action. I am feeling blocked in some way, blocked to be capable to feel all the beautiful and happy happenings around me. It is just so killing sometimes -living with disease. Without indulge into self - pity, my exhaustion and sadness needs to take its space, somewhere – on a blank paper. Life goes on, life does not wait and ask me - "are you ready for another day, Jenny" – it just comes. Naturally and regularly.  And naturally my malady disappears, little by little...slowly and obviously with a great deal of stubbornness - but it slowly goes away. This too will pass, right. What can I do with my time and psyche except be where I am today and accept? It is all about acceptance. Am I really powerless in certain areas of my life - or why am I still here then? I am not William James (the first father of psychology) yet I am a big time thinker and a seeker.

And just one last thing. I am not suffering anymore; I am experience, again, just what names life. Although, gently tell me, what message do you want to verbalize to me, what is your main purpose but holding be stuck into my Bulimia – over more than 10 years now? Indeed, I am not bitter, but at least I demand and answer, explication - call it whatever it is. Just give me a sign in some form, something so I can understand and let go.