Frankly speaking, -what is the crisis with this blog? Essentially, from being one of those “blog addicts” to just about publish nil posts in the latest year – meaning - something is off beam.  In other words, it is sad; my blog was in the very beginning created to be a medium where to “lob and drop” all drama, worries, as well - happiness and joy in my life.  At someplace, last year - September 2009 a feeling of “it has to be thorough, interesting and perfectly written, if not – I cannot publish it”. That sort of foolishness has come to develop into a baffling issue in my everyday life. Plus, I cannot really see how I may surmount this fairly comfortable mindset of thinking.

Seemingly, the halfway through is “just” by start doing it – to take action, so to speak. My desire to be free of boundaries and write and be whatsoever pops up in mind, is stronger than my fear.  Look, it already seems like I initiate a solution here, doesn`t it?  Certainly, you guys most think why I waffling about this. Obviously, it seems to be vulnerability and a weakness in my character.  Somewhat, I believe that it is ok. Just to make this crystal clear; I was probably not born into this life to be perfect – so l will try to let go and let flow - relying on the nature forces and the authentic child within. The tricky thing is, how to let go of something I ever had?  Well, that is not for me to solve.  What is on my table today is to go ahead in my imperfect body and mind, regardless the nonsense the voices advising me to do inside. Do you want to keep me company on that path; I mean the imperfect way of existing?

Besides, it is a peaceful and tranquil afternoon. Though, my agenda is stuffed with things to complete – those things are all there for a reason.  Further, the majority are fun and passionate things.  I really feel like the one and the only boss in my life. It is a powerful feeling. Principally, today`s focus is to prepare myself, as good as I possibly can for an significant exam with an English Professor (just him and I!!) in Gothenburg next week.  Thus, my mission is to embrace every tiny little single element in the prevailing topic. Important is and the key to success is to immerse oneself in the chosen field.

Of course, I do, I hear you asking – how am I doing, am I ok? That is a good question. I would say, on a ladder of well being (if there is such a thing) I am somewhere between “I am feeling brilliant and I believe I have a strong potential to contribute with something really important and new to this world – versus – I`d better run and hide from this life – now!  That is, in very brief where I am today.

But tell me, how are you wonderful folks doing? I wish you all a fulfilling and interesting Thursday!

Your friend,

Jenny